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Helpful Ways To Say No

Helpful Ways To Say No

 

We all know the drill... The woman at church asks you to make another batch of cookies for the bake sale. The PTO president corners you to help out with the art show because "you're so creative!" Your co-workers keep razzing you to come to Friday night happy hour. Your neighbor has asked you multiple times to show her how to use her new photo scanner because she's no good at "that new fangled stuff!". Your mother-in-law insists you host your father-in-law's birthday dinner because "your house has better flow for a party." WTH does that even mean?!

 

Do you see where this is headed? On the fast track to major overload, stress and overwhelm! But it doesn't have to be that way if you use a simple two-letter word. "NO." Yes, it is a complete sentence. 

 

Ok, I get it, it's easier said than done, but is it?! Here are some ways to say "No" respectfully to prevent burnout and protect your boundaries:

  • That doesn't work for me.
  • That isn't doable for me right now.
  • Oh, I wish I could! 
  • I can help you come up with an alternative.
  • I appreciate you thinking of me, but I can't. 
  • Here's what I can do...
  • Here's what's going to work for me.
  • I'm honored that you asked me, but my answer is no.
  • I just don't have it in me right now. 
  • I'm going to say no for now. I'll let you know if things loosen up for me. 
  • I want to, but I'm unable to.
  • I understand your request for help, but I'm not able to give a yes to that.
  • Thanks, but I'll have to pass on that.
  • I'm maxed out at the moment.

 

Notice how in none of these instances did we apologize or say the s-word (sorry). There's really no reason to apologize. It's important to just be clear and stand your ground. 

 

Also in the examples given, there was none of this "I'll get back to you" business. That's one of the worst things you can do as it leaves the person hanging and if you really don't want to do it, you're just prolonging the inevitable. It's best to state your intentions up front. Being direct has nothing to do with being curt or rude, in the long run, it's better than having the reputation of being wishy-washy. 

 

Saying no can be hard, but the more we do it, the easier it'll become! Remember that we're not just saying "no" to something, we're actually saying "yes" to what's important - family time, exercise class, extra sleep, etc. Knowing our limits and having healthy boundaries is important for self-care!

 

How do you protect your boundaries and say no?

Be sure to follow me on Facebook as each Saturday I post something related to self-care! 

 

Categories: Odds and Ends

Comments

  • I agree! Sharing examples of how to say "no" is so essential. When placed in a situation where you have to either accept or reject a request, many people do not want to hurt others' feelings, so they instead lie about how they feel or not answer at all. Thus, by memorizing one or two of these sentences, it will give one a quick "go to" statement that helps quickly get you out of a situation. Thanks for sharing.
    6/18/2018 11:18:53 AM Reply
    • @Sabrina Quairoli: Good point, Sabrina. The key is to memorize and, more importantly, practice the statement so you'll be ready the next time you don't want to or can't do something.
      6/19/2018 3:15:31 PM Reply
  • Absolutely brilliant, Sarah! Saying "no" doesn't come easily for many of us (guilty as charged.) But having the tools or the language to respectfully and clearly respond is essential. You've provided a host of reasonable, non-apologetic responses for when we are asked to do those things we'd rather not. Time is precious so knowing what we are willing to do or not do is key. Thank you for this post.
    6/18/2018 9:36:05 AM Reply
    • @Linda Samuels: I think far too many of us are "guilty as charged" in this area! Glad you found this helpful and thanks for sharing. :)
      6/18/2018 9:38:27 AM Reply
  • I once heard someone say, "Well, if you want someone to do a terrible job because she's overwhelmed, I'm your girl!" Not that I would suggest this phrase, but I thought it cut to the heart of the issue. My favorite one on this list is "Here's what I can do..." That shows interest and willingness, without overcommitting. Great post!
    6/15/2018 6:47:37 AM Reply
    • @Seana Turner: Ha! That's a great comeback! I had to use the "Here's what I can do" phrase recently and it worked quite well. :) #idopracticewhatipreach
      6/17/2018 12:10:54 PM Reply

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